You asked, so I’ll answer!

“Dear Mari:

Have you heard about that billboard that some guys put up in Utah advertising dates with Lance Archibald? (here’s the link: http://www.datelance.com/) Well my friends and I were laughing about it, but every time I drive up to SLC, I think about it. Do you think it’s the height of tackiness to submit an application to that website? Do you think a relationship could ever work out that starts this way?

Sincerely,

I Don’t Want People To Think I’m A Freak” (more…)

It is my pleasure to announce that another great guest blogger will be joining us and following in the footsteps of Dave. Let’s give a warm welcome to Mr. Ned Flanders. Ned’s skin is a bright yellow color and he wears a bushy mustache and glasses. He lives in Springfield with his wife Maude and two children, Rod and Todd. His blog is called Viva Ned Flanders and you should all visit it if you haven’t already. (more…)

I have a confession to make: I love to swear. And not just Flan-diddly-anders style either. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t swear in public (or at work) or use words I find too vulgar. I don’t advocate taking the Lord’s name in vain or swearing in front of children. But every once in a while it just feels great to let loose a long string of expletives. (more…)

Trinka Lowe is a Mormon. Her husband, Derek Lowe, is a famous Major League baseball pitcher. He started for the Boston Red Sox for several years, and he is now with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Derek is leaving Trinka and their three children for someone he met “on the road.” Trinka is doing her best to get the word out before the fact that he left his wife and children for another woman gets romanticized into yet another sweet, charming, Major League love story. Here’s the story in the Boston Herald, which does an admirable job reporting it. I say: Good for you, Trinka! We know you’ll land on your feet.

Yesterday the sisters came back. I let them teach me the first discussion and I didn’t tell them I was a member. (more…)

I know I haven’t been as frequent a contributor or commenter as I should have been, and for that I owe you all an apology; you’re my friends, and you deserve better. I have just felt very alone lately, and so I hope you don’t mind if I share with you my thoughts. (more…)

I like playing tricks on people. When I was little, I’d put my dad’s 100% Columbian ground coffee in my mom’s decaf container and hide under the kitchen table until she started yelling. The bad thing about being an only child is that you don’t have anyone else to blame things on, but not getting my allowance a few weeks in a row was worth getting away with a few tricks. (more…)

I take anti-depressants. They’ve done great things for me. And there’s nothing wrong with taking them. (more…)

I was visit teaching an older lady in our ward the other day and she asked me how I was getting on since my mother moved in with us. I told her everything was fine, and she looked sharply at me and said, “Trouble shared is trouble halved.” (more…)

During sacrament meeting each week, I sit at the back of the cultural hall to avoid attention. One of the side benefits of this is the chance to observe my fellow churchgoers unnoticed. As my eyes inevitably wandered during a recent talk, it seemed that all I could see around me was a veritable sea of back-scratching and canoodling. (more…)

Even if my mother hadn’t sent me last month’s Ensign with President Hinckley’s message tagged, high-lighted, foot-noted, and underlined I still wouldn’t have been able to escape the fact that we’re supposed to be reading the Book of Mormon.

Book of Mormon mania is taking over the bloggernacle; it’s here, here, here, and even here. It’s everywhere.

What a lot of people don’t know about me is that in spite of my attendance record I love the Book of Mormon too. And I didn’t want the Banner of Heaven to be left behind, so I made a list: THE TOP TEN BADASSES OF THE BOOK OF MORMON. (more…)

It’s unprecedented I know. But it’s a move whose time has come. (more…)

I know I shouldn’t post three days in a row, but those were really silly posts, and the Sisters came back, and I have to confess what happened to somebody before I get struck by lightning.

This time I was out back trying to keep the roof of my shed from falling off when I heard cars approaching. Two cars. I heard the doors shut. Four doors. My blood ran cold. I should have known. The Elders had come to poach me away from the Sisters. (more…)

I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve found the recent posts about fashion at Times and Seasons by Carrie Lundell to be the most useful, thought-provoking things I’ve read online in a long time. (more…)

The last post I wrote, the thirteenth comment was by Rosalynde Welch P.H.D. It really got me thinking, and as I tried to write something smart that would impress a bona fide bloggernacle celebrity my comment grew embarrassingly long and I decided to just make it a post instead. (more…)

My lesson in Sunday School was on the martyrdom of Joseph Smith, who I look to as the greatest Mormon and an example in every respect (except, perhaps, polygamy ).

Turns out that I am just like Joseph in yet another way: I am a martyr.
(more…)

Our church emphasizes physicality much more than most Christian religions. We believe, for instance, that our Heavenly Father has a body. We are taught that we came to earth to gain a body so that we can learn and become like Him. We believe that our bodies, like our spirits, are sacred, and that things we do with and to our bodies will likewise affect our spiritual growth. Believing this, is there a position we must take as faithful church members with regards to cosmetic surgery? (more…)

Given the length of my previous movie review, I was tempted to write, “One word: Yum.” But instead, I wrote this:

I have this hobby. I look up diseases and conditions on the internet and check-out the lists of symptoms. As hobbies go, I can not really recommend it. (more…)

My Mormon girlfriend has a celebrity crush. This guy has been part of her life for longer than me, so I don’t see grounds for being threatened by him yet. But he does have two things on me: he’s also Mormon, and he wears eyeliner. (more…)