Esther’s is a story of a woman who faced a truly epic challenge, and in the process of meeting this challenge blossomed into a major political figure at a time when women were savagely belittled and mistreated just to keep them in their place. But in spite of her femininity, Esther was more hero than heroine. Her actions were revolutionary, but they remained sadly defined within the narrow constraints of traditional masculine ideals. (more…)

I’ve got a bone to pick with the paper industry. On a personal level, it’s my husband’s career; he took a job in the Potlatch toilet paper plant instead of going to law school. But that’s a separate issue.

Paper destroys our environment, and I’m not talking about trees either. Paper production releases millions of pounds of known toxins. Let me fill you in on a few of these. (more…)

At church on Sunday we sang, “I Stand All Amazed” for the sacrament hymn. I’m the type that mumbles through hymns and mostly just listens. Immediately behind me a voice rang out, singing beautifully with grace and enthusiasm. I wondered to myself who the singer could be until I was able to steal a momentary glance at its source. Much to my surprise, it was one of the MIA Maids in the ward. I remember when I used to sing like that. (more…)

Following is a short story that I wrote that I’d like to share with the bloggernacle:

She wears a white dress trimmed with lace, and kicks her ball around
the field in circles. Soon, the dinner bell rings, and she runs toward
the large house with the open windows. Just outside the house, she is
stopped by a tall man whom she has never seen before. He is wearing
old overalls and a threadbare shirt. He has big hands with dark, dirty
fingernails. Looking down at her with his worn, knobby face, he
frowns. She freezes, and he picks her up. (more…)

Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, and no hands are idler than those clutching the joystick of an Xbox or any other game console. (more…)

A close friend of mine since childhood is divorcing her husband, because he cannot stop looking at pornography. Since they were married, I’ve become increasingly good friends with her husband, and so I’ve had a chance to talk to both of them about this in detail. The story, taking into account both sides, is like this: (more…)

When I was growing up on the east coast, the label “intellectual” was an insult. It applied to certain people in the ward, luckily only a few, who had decided that they were smarter than the Brethren. (more…)

Yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker reading, “My daughter was killed by a drunk driver.” (more…)

Following is another short story that I wrote that I’d like to share with the bloggernacle:

“Boring year for the Brownsteins,” Eve thought to herself as the line at the package store got shorter. (more…)

I switched from Coke Classic to Diet Coke way back in college. Now that Coca-Cola has released a new diet cola, I’ve got a lot to say about it. Since I sometimes envy the light-heartedness of my co-bloggers’ posts, I’m going to say it here:

Andy Warhol is credited with saying, “In the future, everybody will be world-famous for 15 minutes.” He was wrong. He should have said, “In the future, there will be no diet soft drinks.” (more…)

Here’s the email that I received in my mailbag: (more…)

One word: Yuck.

Trinka Lowe is a Mormon. Her husband, Derek Lowe, is a famous Major League baseball pitcher. He started for the Boston Red Sox for several years, and he is now with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Derek is leaving Trinka and their three children for someone he met “on the road.” Trinka is doing her best to get the word out before the fact that he left his wife and children for another woman gets romanticized into yet another sweet, charming, Major League love story. Here’s the story in the Boston Herald, which does an admirable job reporting it. I say: Good for you, Trinka! We know you’ll land on your feet.

I take anti-depressants. They’ve done great things for me. And there’s nothing wrong with taking them. (more…)

Given the length of my previous movie review, I was tempted to write, “One word: Yum.” But instead, I wrote this:

Dad’s frequent flyer miles recently took me back to the Washington, DC area to visit my family and some old friends. I’ve gone back before, but never ventured out and about. The area changed a lot when I was growing up, but I’ve always remembered things just the way I saw them the summer before I left for BYU. (more…)

One thing that discussions about evolution demonstrate: Arguments about evolution do not evolve.

Naturally, I have little to say about evolution. It just does not matter to me. But it remains a popular topic among bloggers and commenters here in the bloggernacle. (more…)

I’m finished with this blog and its commenters. The almost complete absence of courtesy and the gratuitous personal insults are more than I will abide, and I refuse to continue associating with people who will not lift a finger to defend me. The longer I participate, the less I see anything besides people preening themselves with pedantry. I’m now convinced that most of the bloggernacle is given over to Mormons who glibly eschew basic LDS values in order to sound candid, interesting, or sophisticated. I’ve tried to pretend like none of this matters, but it does.

I wanted to name this post “Don’t Hate Me,” but Septimus has used that title already.

To all those who responded to my insults with kind words, I owe you a very special thanks.

Have you ever done something rash and very quickly regretted it? Please try to understand. I still have serious issues with some participants in the bloggernacle, but I’m guilty of having painted with too broad a brush. I owe so many of you an apology.

I’ve been candid about my taking anti-depressants, so I should be candid that I’m thinking about stopping. I’ve been having mood swings. Sometimes the smallest thing can set me off. I’m not sure if it’s me or if it’s a side effect. I wish things were simpler.

To my co-bloggers, Jenn, Mari, Greg, Aaron, and Septimus: I love you all. Thanks for your support and for being so patient with me. I can’t imagine a group of people that I’d rather blog with.

Best known for his ability to play no-nonsense, gruff characters, Wilford Brimley is among the most recognizable actors in Hollywood. His acting credits include The High Road to China (1983), The Natural (1984), Cocoon (1985), Hard Target (1993), The Firm (1993), My Fellow Americans (1996), In and Out (1997), Brigham City (2001), and The Road Home (2003). Moreover, according to ldsfilm.com, he’s Mormon.

And today, he turns 71. Happy Birthday!

My son Park and my daughter Emily started 2nd grade and half-day kindergarten last month, and there are a couple of things that bother me about their school. (more…)

The other general conference threads are devoted to parsing words and bickering over details. The Banner is the perfect place for a general conference thread where people argue over big picture issues without having to read through 30 or 40 comments per hour to communicate.

So here it is: The Banner of Heaven’s General Conference thread. Say whatever you like. I’ll go first: (more…)

Last Friday, we found out that my husband Eric got laid off from his job at the toilet paper factory. I had told my co-bloggers and agonized about broaching the issue here. It’s a lot harder than posting short stories or movie reviews, but Septimus keeps pushing us to be more honest and candid. (more…)

President Bush’s nomination of White House crony Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court is another affront to American values. I could abide Roberts’ nomination to replace Renquest, because it maintained a status quo. If approved, Harriet Miers is very likely to tilt the court’s balance in a direction that could reverse much of the Constitutional progress that we’ve made in the past half-century. (more…)

It has been brought to our attention that the opening scene from tonight’s episode of Desparate Housewives, in which Bree Van De Camp walks through a cemetery with her mother-in-law to find that the body of her husband is missing, contains a prominent gravestone with the name SEPTIMUS engraved upon it. Before the rumors begin to fly, we’d like to state that the placement of this tombstone appears to be a prank of some kind. Septimus is alive and well.

[This post has been deleted.]

I apologize to my co-bloggers and Banner readers for my post from earlier today. Issues surrounding gender inequality are always hot topics for me. Combine that with intimacy issues and some of the things that are going on with my marriage, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

Adult group exercise is segregated: Men play basketball, and women do aerobics. There are many exceptions, but generally it is true. Mormon men play basketball at Mormon chapels, but according to the First Presidency’s recent decision, Mormon women cannot do aerobics at Mormon chapels. (more…)

kristen j’s birthday is today (according to her). She’s the better half of the dynamic duo that makes New Cool Thang. She’s a libra, and we don’t know how old she is (but we’re listening if she wants to tell…)

Feel free to use this thread to lavish her with praise for always being smart, funny, and insightful in her comments here and elsewhere.

Happy Birthday, kristen j!

We are pleased to present Mike Van Wagenen, Matt Bowman, and Alan Morrell as the first participants in our newest regular feature, “13 Questions.” This feature will allow us to “interview” the brightest stars in the Mormon, nighttime sky. (more…)

For those of you who liked my first short story, but didn’t like my second short story, I’m hoping you’ll give me one more chance. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about his one:

It fell and it fell and everything got wet. (more…)

My name is David King Landrith. I pretend to be Miranda Park Jones, and she is not real.

Unlike my co-bloggers, I offer no general apology. (more…)

I’m embarrassed to admit that we have mislead you. We promised answers to 13 questions, because 13 was such a spooky number, but our panelists were kind enough to answer 17, and they’re all just too good to drop. It is with heartfelt appreciation that I (and Mari and Aaron and Greg and Septimus and Jenn) present 17 wonderful answers from Matt Bowman, Alan Morrell, and Mike Van Wagenen on Mormon tricks, pranks, hoaxes, unexplained occurrences, and legends. (more…)

We’re moving! (more…)