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The Banner Mailbag: Septimus  June 29, 2005

SeptimusH — June 29 @ 10:18am

This is the first installment of The Banner Mailbag, a regular feature where Banner readers get to ask us whatever questions you want. I was never crazy about the idea so I wanted to go first and get it over with. (Sorry guys you told me to be honest).

NFlanders asks:

Where did Septimus get his name from? Trollope? That’s my last guess.

Dear N,

No one ever believes me, but Septimus is my real name. I’m the seventh child of seven children and the literal meaning of Septimus is “seventh born.” My Mom says they ran out of ideas. She once told me my dad liked Roman history and that makes me wonder if he didn’t name me after Septimus Severus. Since I was little I’ve preferred to go by Sep because kids can be cruel. What’s the N stand for anyway?

Dear Septimus,

I’m 5′3 and 140 pounds. Would you have a problem with that?

Just Curious

Dear Curious,

Is this some kind of code? I’m not sure what you have in mind, but I’m not forming a basketball team, so no.

Hey, Septimus,

Why no picture?

Yours Truly,


Dear Punky,

From how little kids react to me in the supermarket, I’d say I’m doing everyone a favor. I hope it’s just the beard–hate shaving, have a scar I like to cover up. I thought about a picture, but the idea made me sick, after seeing how everyone looked I thought, no way. I’d rather be judged by my words alone.


  1. Why were my “Ode to Onan” poems/comments deleted? They were on topic for the post. I understand some LDS can’t handle sexual discussions, even when proper polite medical terms are used, but a little on-topic poem?

    Steve EM — June 29, 2005 @ 10:35am
  2. SteveFSF, I deleted them because I found them offensive as a Molly Mormon! Sorry… ;)

    Jenn — June 29, 2005 @ 12:28pm
  3. Septimus– I guess you narrowly escaped being named Seven Costanza. Any magic powers that we should be aware of? Dowsing, stone-cutting, allergies to water?

    Steve (FSF)– You really need to get your own blog. They’re free and then you can be censor-free.

    NFlanders — June 29, 2005 @ 2:35pm
  4. Oh, and N is for Ned, obviously.

    NFlanders — June 29, 2005 @ 2:36pm
  5. Doodlebug!

    a random john — June 29, 2005 @ 2:45pm
  6. Wow Septimus you and I are alike. I haven’t shaved since I got back from my mission in 93.

    Jared — June 30, 2005 @ 12:07am
  7. What Sep isn’t telling you is that his parents are named Quintilian and Sexta. So really… And Steve FSF, Jenn actually took your poem down because she’s putting together a little collection and didn’t want any rival claims to authorship. No fears, my poetizing friend, it’s safely preserved.

    Greg Fox — June 30, 2005 @ 8:51am
  8. Just a warning: I actually received some email in my mailbag, and I’ll be going live with it later this week.

    Miranda PJ — July 19, 2005 @ 6:21pm

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