|Four Dead Cows||June 25, 2005|
In the last month. Three dead in this county one in the next over, one’s my neighbor’s. When I was in town I heard ranchers in the hardware store where they like to talk and some are worried that it’ll be like it was in Pondera County in Montana, not only in the 70s where like 60 or something cases were reported, but in 2001 they had 12-15 mutilations.
I think about Dale’s cow Lucy and that she felt light. I didn’t see blood or anything like tracks it seems like a coyote would have left that and round her head and neck it was all bare bone, especially along the jaw. I didn’t see a tongue.
The cow in the county north of here had two of it legs broken. The second cow after Lucy apparently had no utter or sex organs, and the digestive tract was cored out they said. One rancher said “wide like a Crisco can.” I wished he hadn’t said that right away. The third cow was taken to a local vet for a quick look and he said the cuts look too clean for wild animals and scavengers. At least that’s what one of the men said. One of them said it was all crap and left. When that happened they looked at me listening to them and I walked away. The rancher types don’t like the way I look too much but they could be just as responsible as I am.
I probably shouldn’t have but I looked up stuff on the internet when I got home. In the recent Montana case they found something called oxindole, an experimental sedative in one of the cows corpses. Back in 1998 there was a cow mutilation in Cache County, Utah and investigators found a blue gel containing formaldehyde around the eye, ear, and anus of the animal. I need to stay off the internet at night because you get to the point where you think you see shadows moving in your house out of the corner of the eye.
Reading about cattle mutilation doesn’t make it easy to sleep I can tell you. When I was young Mom used to say to me that if I had too much imagination at night I should just recite the words to “I am a Child of God” in my mind and it would help clear away scary thoughts. Don’t laugh but I still do that sometimes, a lot of times. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me. Over and over. Thank God, for that song.
I also do this relaxation technique where you imagine you can see through your eyelids as you lie there. This way I don’t see Lucy. You breathe deeply until you can see all the details of your room with your eyes shut. Sometimes I open my eyes to check and it’s exactly like I saw my room with my eyes closed. It helps me fall asleep and dream because I feel like if something did happen I could see it coming.